Confusing Comfort with Godliness

Confusing Comfort with Godliness from genvealopez2012.com

In college, I took a World Missions class as an elective.  Once, we were assigned to read a book called “Peace Child” by missionary Don Richardson.  It is the true story of how Don and his wife, Carol, shared the gospel with a remote tribe in New Guinea.  If you’ve never read it, I encourage you to and I’ll try not to spoil the story here.  In a nutshell, though, it’s a great lesson on how ministry doesn’t always look like what we think it’s going to and how, even though doing things this way has worked in the past it doesn’t always mean it’s going to work that way in every situation.  We might have to try something different.

I was reading the story of David and Goliath the other night.  It’s a story I’ve read and heard a thousand times throughout my life, but even still, the other night I grasped something new.  You know the story, probably.  Goliath, the giant Philistine warrior, terrorized the Israelites for 40 days looking for an Israelite to fight him.  No one was brave enough until David.  While visiting with his older brothers, the young shepherd boy heard Goliath’s threats and he quickly volunteered to fight the giant.  King Saul told him he was too young and untrained to fight such a warrior, but David soon convinced him to let him try.

Before David set out to fight Goliath, King Saul attempted to prepare David for the battle.  1 Samuel 17:38-39 (NIV) says:

“Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic.  He put a coat of armor on him and bronze helmet on his head.  David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them…”

I imagine that it would have been considered a great honor for a king to offer you his own armor.  And certainly suiting up in this kind of armor would have been the logical thing to do before going to face one’s enemy in battle, especially one the size of Goliath.  King Saul no doubt used his armor often in battles and it surely protected him and served him well in defeating many enemies in previous fights.

But David wasn’t used to it.  He wasn’t trained in using any of it.  When he had gone up against lions and bears when tending to the sheep at home, he used other methods and came out victoriously.  So the story goes, he took off these garments and weapons and instead took up his slingshot and 5 stones and faced the giant Philistine, claiming victory soon after.

How many times have I rejected something or someone as ungodly or wrong simply because it didn’t look like what I thought it should?  Perhaps a pastor preached a sermon this way, but I didn’t like his style of preaching, so I automatically declassified him as a man of God.  Maybe the way this artist sings or plays music goes against what I like or what I’ve always thought of as Christ-like, so I automatically snubbed them as wrong or ungodly.

The thing is, we absolutely DO have to use discernment when we listen to sermons or music or view different ministries.  We should ALWAYS make sure that whatever is being taught or sung or practiced aligns with the Word of God, even when we think the individual preaching it, singing it, or doing it is an amazing individual.  This is something we should practice daily.

But too often, we dismiss others for the simple fact that they’re “not our style.”  We reject others for doing things differently than we like or prefer.  If it takes us out of our comfort zone at all, we are quick to dismiss it without further observation, prayer, or guidance from God and unfortunately, we attempt to stifle individuals from freely flowing in their own talents and gifts from God.

In this story from 1 Samuel, it’s important to understand that King Saul wasn’t wrong in what he was doing.  He was trying to prepare David as any soldier would prepare and in the past, King Saul had been triumphant handling battles in this way.  But David decided to approach the situation differently, much differently than any one else had ever done.  To many, it probably seemed absurd.  Yet, we see that David, given the opportunity to flow from his own talents, came out victorious.  Had King Saul forced David to do it the way he would have personally chosen to do it, would David have been successful?  We’ll never know, but the point is, he was successful doing it differently than others thought he should have.

Let us be cautious, then, in being quick to judge others as wrong, based solely on our opinions or preferences.  Perhaps God has blessed you and your ministry of choice as you’ve done things one way, but do not think for one second that just because someone else does ministry different than you, that they have not been called by God and that they are not being used by God.  Let us not confuse our personal comfort levels, Friends, with the guiding voice of the Holy Spirit.

 

 

Understanding the U.S. Immigration System: Family Immigration Visas

Understanding the U.S. Immigration System: Family Immigration Visas from genevalopez2012.com

If you’re just joining me today, a friend of mine recently asked if I could elaborate on what the process entails for an individual to immigrate legally to the United States.  I decided I wanted to address this subject in various parts and posts since it’s such a complex process.  You can check out my first post on this topic here: Understanding the U.S. Immigration System: Tourist Visas, as I address the process of obtaining tourist visas.  As a reminder, I am not a lawyer and any information I share here should NEVER be substituted for competent legal advice from a lawyer. Because of my family’s own experiences going through the legal immigration process, as well as my professional experience providing counseling services to individuals who have gone through the process, I’m sometimes asked to share information on the topic.

Today’s blog may be the most eye-opening of any I do on the topic.  Today, we’re going to take a look at how someone can legally immigrate to the U.S. via family members.

Permanent Residents vs. U.S. Citizens: What’s the Difference?

First, it’s important to distinguish between lawful permanent residents and citizens of the U.S.  Both have gone through a legal process to obtain their status, both are legally allowed to live in the United States and work here, and both pay taxes.  Understand that when someone first legally enters this country as a legal immigrant, they will NOT be granted citizenship; they will be given permanent residency, first.  The individual must live in the U.S.A as a permanent resident for a certain amount of years (3-5, depending on the type of immigration case they have) before they can apply to become citizens of the United States and, of course, pay all the fees involved with THAT process.  However, an individual is never obligated to become a citizen; they can choose to remain a Permanent Resident only and they are still just as “legal” as an individual who chooses to become a citizen.

How Does Someone Qualify for Immigration Via a Family Member?

In order for an individual to legally immigrate to the United States via a family member, they must be one of the following:

  • Spouse of a U.S citizen or permanent resident
  • Son or daughter of a U.S. citizen
  • Unmarried son or daughter of a permanent resident
  • Parent of a U.S. citizen
  • Brother or sister of a U.S. citizen

If an individual falls into one of these categories, their relative living in the United States can file a petition for them and start the process.  There are many steps and fees involved in this process and the process is different depending on the familial relationship, so rather than list all of that, you can find this information by following this link to the government website: Family Immigration Visas.  Individuals will have to meet certain health requirements, financial requirements, submit to background checks, and complete interviews, to name a view of the steps.

How Long Does the Process Take? 

So how long can a family member expect to be waiting for their application to be processed and approved?  Well, that depends.

If a family member being petitioned for is the spouse of a U.S. citizen, the unmarried child under 21 years of age of a U.S. citizen, or the parent of a U.S. citizen who is 21 years old or older, THEN this process is the fastest of all family petitions.  There are no limits to the number of family visas available each year for these three family relationships, so the process moves more quickly.  However, the amount of time it will take for these applications to be processed varies day by day, will depend on the processing center that the individual’s application has been assigned to, and will also depend on the country of origin of the family member being petitioned for.  Currently, in general, the process is said to take approximately 6 months – 1 year for these specific cases, but can be greatly impacted by many factors.    

But what about family members who do not fall into one of those three categories?  How long does their process take?

Again, it depends.

When a family member does not fall into one of the above three categories, their petition is prioritized based on the nature of their relationship with the U.S. petitioner and they will fall into one of the following 4 preferences:

  1. F1-First: Unmarried sons and daughters of U.S. Citizens
  2. F2A: Spouses and Children of Permanent Residents
    F2B: Unmarried sons and daughters 21 years or older of Permanent Residents
  3. F3: Married sons and daughters of U.S. Citizens
  4. F4: Brothers and sisters of adult U.S. Citizens

As mentioned earlier, the amount of family visas allowed for immediate relatives (spouses, children under 21 years old, and parents) of U.S. Citizens is unlimited, but for family members that fall into one of these other categories, that is not the case.  Each year, the government establishes a certain amount of family visas allotted for each of these four categories.  According to the information provided on the U.S. Department of State’s website, currently the amount of visas allowed each year for each category is as follows:

  1. F1: 23,400
  2. F2: 114,200 total, with F2A members being allotted 77% of these and F2B members being allotted 23%
  3. F3: 23,400
  4. F4: 65,000

If the amount of visas allowed for a preference are not reached, then any “left over” visas will be added to the amount allowed for the subsequent preference.  For example, if only 20,000 visas are granted for individuals who fall into the F1 category, then the remaining 3,400 visas not used in that category will be added to the 114,200 total of the F2 category, bringing that total for the year to 117,600 visas allotted.

However, if that wasn’t complicated enough, there are also limitations to the number of visas allowed for each country every year.  Therefore, someone from Russia, for example, may have a much shorter waiting time than an individual from Mexico because the amount of visas allowed for Russia has not been met yet, but has been met for Mexico.

Whooo.  Still with me?

When an individual files a petition for a family member, the government will send them what is known as a priority date.  They can use this priority date to check on the status of their application throughout the process.  However, the U.S. Department of State, also publishes what is known as a Visa Bulletin each month.  This can be especially useful for individuals who are trying to immigrate from countries in which, currently, the number of visas is oversubscribed.  In other words, a country is referred to as oversubscribed when the amount of visa applicants exceeds the amount of visas allotted for that country.  According to the December, 2018 bulletin, currently the following countries are all oversubscribed: China (mainland born), El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras, India, Mexico, Philippines, and Vietnam.  

So what does this mean, exactly?  Let’s take a look at Mexico.  According to this month’s Visa Bulletin, the United States government is ready to begin immediate processing of applications who have been assigned priority dates BEFORE the following dates listed in each category:

  1. F1: April, 1999
  2. F2A: December, 2017
    F2B: August, 1997
  3. F3: October, 1999
  4. F4: September, 1998

In other words, currently, a Mexican applicant who is the unmarried son or daughter of a U.S. citizen and is is 21 years or older, will have been waiting 19 years for their turn in this process.

Currently, for countries that are not oversubscribed, for applicants who are the unmarried son or daughter of a U.S. citizen and are 21 years or older, the government is ready to begin processing applications with priority dates before August, 2011, meaning these individuals have been waiting approximately 7 years. 

When we take this information and combine it with information that I provided in this previous blog The Real Question We Should Be Asking About the Migrant Caravan (disclaimer: The blog post about the Caravan contains both facts and personal opinions, unlike the blog post you are currently reading), it may bring some clarification as to why individuals feel a need to forego the legal process.

In Summary

This information is constantly changing and, as you can see, dependent on several factors.  Also, this is a general overview of the typical process for family visas, but as always, there are exceptions.  If you take nothing else from this post, though, take this: Every case is different.  Just because John Doe did it this way and it took this amount of time, does NOT mean that Jane Doe’s process will be the same.  There are many components to this process and I’ve tried to explain that as briefly as possible in this blog.  

 

Understanding the U.S. Immigration System: Tourist Visas

Understanding the U.S. Immigration System: Tourist Visas from genevalopez2012.com

A friend of mine recently asked if I could share information on what the legal process entails for immigrating to the USA, as she is trying to gain a better understanding.  I am not a lawyer and any information I provide on this topic should never be substituted for competent legal advice from a lawyer.  However, I have personally been through the process of legal immigration, as I married a man born and raised in El Salvador, I have many friends and family members who have also been through the process, and I have worked professionally in therapy with individuals who have dealt with the system as well.  So, I’m not an expert on the subject, but I do have quite a bit of experience with it.

One of the arguments many people give for opposing “illegal immigration” is that they believe people should follow our laws and regulations and “do it the right and legal way.”  But what does that process entail, exactly?

I decided I wanted to tackle this topic in parts, as it’s quite a complicated process.  Though I’m known for being long-winded in my writing, even I will admit that most people aren’t going to sit through one, big post on this topic.  Ha!  While I won’t be able to address every single facet of legal immigration, the plan is to write several posts on the topic addressing some of the key elements.  Each original post will avoid my personal opinion on the topic and will simply be a resource to educate and inform, providing information from both government websites and personal examples.

Let’s Get Started.  First topic: Tourist Visas.

Whenever any citizen of a foreign country wants to visit the United States, not only must they have a passport, but they must also apply and be approved for what is known as a tourist visa or B-2 visa.  According to the U.S. Department of State website, appropriate uses of this visa include tourism, vacation, visiting friends/family, medical treatment, participation in social events, participation in amateur events as a musician, athlete, or something similar as long as the individual is not being paid for participation, and enrollment in a short course of study that does not count as credit towards a degree.

In order to apply for this visa, in most cases, one would adhere to the following process:

  1. Complete Form DS-160, the application form for a tourist visa, which can be found at the U.S. Department of State website.
  2. Schedule a visa interview at the U.S. Embassy or Consulate of the country in which one lives.  Wait times for these interviews vary by country.  You can find approximate wait times for the city in which you live at https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/tourism-visit/visitor.html.  Current wait times for this visa interview as of today’s date, for example, are approximately 9 days for Tokyo, 16 for Baghdad, and 20 for San Salvador.
  3. Pay a processing fee of $160.  This fee will NOT be refunded whether the visa is granted or not.  
  4. Gather any required documents for the visa interview, which will vary depending on the country of origin and purpose of visit.
  5. Attend the visa interview appointment.

After the visa interview, the applicant will find out whether they are approved for a B-2 visa or not.  I recently polled a small, anonymous audience on Facebook regarding this topic.  I asked the following question:

True or False: Pending there is no serious criminal history or known ties to terrorists, the individual should be approved for the visa.

The results of my poll, found that approximately 67% of the individuals who answered the poll, believed this to be a true statement, while 33% of the individuals who answered the poll, believed this to be a false statement.  So, what’s the answer?

FALSE.

While this criteria will certainly play a role in determining whether or not an applicant is approved for a B-2 tourist visa, there is actually quite a bit more criteria that must be met for approval.  You can read the extensive list of reasons why an individual may be denied a tourist visit, by copying and pasting this link in your browser: https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/us-visas/visa-information-resources/waivers.html. 

An example of a reason one may be denied a visitor’s visa is that the interviewing officer believes the applicant may become a public charge while in the United States.  To determine this, the officer will consider the applicant’s age, health, family status (single, married, etc), assets and financial status, and education and skills.

When my husband and I were getting married in 2008, we really wanted his family in El Salvador to be here.  The family members who applied for a B-2 visa, brought an invitation to our wedding with them to their visa interviews.  Of those who applied, his mother, one sister, and his brother were all, thankfully, granted a tourist visa and were able to attend our wedding.  However, one sister who applied at the same time for the same reasons, was denied the visa and unable to attend.  She had no criminal history and no health issues, but was most likely denied due to lack of financial assets at the time.  According to the U.S. Department of State’s website, “The sole authority to approve or deny (called adjudicate) visa applications, under U.S. immigration law section 104(a) of the Immigration and Nationality Act, is given to consular officers at U.S. Embassies and Consulates.”  

If a B-2 visa is granted, it can be awarded for various time frames.  Some individuals are approved for a 5-year visa, some a 10-year visa, and others a visa that expires after a few days after entry into the United States.  This does not mean, however, that an individual awarded a 10-year, B-2 visa can enter the United States and legally stay for 10 consecutive years; it just means that their visa is good for a total of 10 years and they will not have to re-apply for a visitor’s visa each time they travel to the United States within that 10-year period.  Once an individual enters the U.S., the officer who reviews the individual’s documents at customs, determines how long the individual can stay during the particular visit, with the longest stay allowed on this specific type of visa being 6 months.

This is a brief synopsis of the typical process required for a tourist visa to the United States.  What do you think?  Any of the information surprise you?  I would encourage you to spend more time on the websites provided throughout this post to gain an even better understanding of B-2 visas.

And as always, thank you for trying to educate yourself on the process of legal immigration into the United States so that you can form your own informed opinion on the topic.

Does God Want Me to Forgive and Forget?

Before David inherited the throne, he was a servant of King Saul. The Bible talks about how well David served Saul, his loyalty to the King, and Saul’s appreciation for David’s work. But as time went on, King Saul soon became jealous of David, so much so, that he even began to try and kill the servant he once loved. As we read through 1 Samuel, we see the dark and dismal fall of King Saul as his jealousy consumes him. It’s a depressing end to what was once an incredible friendship and mentorship.

When reading these Scriptures, we often emphasize David’s response to this situation. The Psalms he most likely wrote during this turbulent time paint a better picture of David’s own struggles through it all. I imagine all he must have been thinking, all the emotions he must have been feeling. Shock, fear, anger, brokenness, sadness, confusion, grief. What a dark time in David’s life it must have been.

While David certainly experienced personal highs and lows through this time in his life, we eventually read about David’s incredible example of mercy and forgiveness. Though he had the opportunity to easily kill King Saul throughout this ordeal, he chose to spare his life. And when, later on in the story, David learned of Saul and Jonathan’s deaths, we witness him grieve deeply for them both, witness him refer to Saul, even after all he had done, as God’s “anointed one,” and compose a song praising the king for good things he had done.

I’ve always read those Scriptures as a beautiful picture of how God defines true forgiveness, focused on David’s refusal to seek revenge in both word and deed. And undoubtedly, it certainly does all of that. But as I was reading through these passages a few years ago, I was struck by something I’d never given much thought to before.

As Christ-followers, I think we can often be confused as to what forgiveness, as the Bible defines it, is and what it is not. I’ve often seen it taught in churches, or at the very least, implied, that biblical forgiveness is the equivalent of forgetting. After all, Scripture teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive others 70 x 7 when they sin against us. But this notion wasn’t settling well with me, especially in situations where abuse was occurring.

Webster’s Dictionary defines “forgive” as the following:

  • stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for (an offense, flaw, or mistake).
  • cancel (a debt).

When we look at David and Saul’s story here, we see David wrestle through this process, but eventually, he most certainly lives up to this definition. Webster doesn’t mention anything about forgetting the offense when defining forgiveness, but does that align with Scripture? I found my answer in 1 Samuel 24.

In this chapter, we learn about how David spared Saul’s life when given the opportunity to kill him. When he makes this fact known to Saul, the king weeps and essentially begs David for mercy, which David agrees to. But then the Scripture reads in verse 22,

“…Then Saul returned home, but David and his men went up to the stronghold.”

Prior to Saul’s jealous rampage, David had lived with Saul and served as a high commanding officer in Saul’s army. David was best friends with Saul’s son Jonathan and several times, we even read David referring to Saul as “my father” and King Saul referring to David as “my son.” But despite all of this, we see in this verse of 1 Samuel 24, that though David chose to show mercy and not collect a debt from Saul, so to speak, it is also just as important to note, I think, that he did not return with Saul. In fact, he returned to a stronghold, which is a place where one seeks protection from attack.

While I believe the Church certainly gets some of the most vital components of biblical forgiveness right, we cannot forsake this equally important piece here: That forgiveness is letting go of revenge and animosity towards those who do us harm, but it does not require us to put ourselves back in situations where we are in danger, whether physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. Just as a physical stronghold protects us against those who seek to do us harm, personal boundaries work the same way, and they are necessary in life.

Forgive others, as Christ commands us. Allow Him to help you release resentment and bitterness towards those who have harmed you. But seek His wisdom and guidance, too, in learning how to set healthy boundaries with those who have harmed you. In some situations, perhaps He is calling you to reconcile the relationship and live as though it did not happen. But in other situations, He may want you to lean on Him as you let go of that toxic relationship, where there should be no reconciliation because it will only bring death and destruction to your life. Release the notion that biblical forgiveness is synonymous with forgetting and understand that Scripture teaches us that we can forgive an individual, but still protect our well-being by using the memory of the offense as the explanation for new and healthy boundaries with that individual.

DISCLAIMER:

This blog is for personal use only and not to provide specific mental health advice. By using this blog site, you understand that there is no therapist-client relationship between you and Geneva. This blog should NOT be used as a substitute for competent medical or mental health advice from a licensed professional counselor in your state.

The Biggest Threat to Christian America? Christians.

Christians: Christian America's Biggest Threat from genevalopez2012.com

 

“When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, ‘Lord, should we strike with our swords?’ And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.

But Jesus answered, ‘No more of this!’ And he touched the man’s ear and healed him. (Luke 22:49-51)

I fear for the Christian faith in our nation, America, but probably not for the same reasons so many of my Conservative friends do.  I’m not living in fear of the Liberals, the Muslim refugees, the feminists, the LGBTQ community, the ACLU, and any other alleged enemy of our Christian ideals.   No, I’m much more frightened by my own brothers and sisters in Christ who seem to have forgotten that our entire Faith is based on Love and that the world will know we are Christ’s disciples only by our love for one another (John 13:35).

We have our precious Supreme Court Justices, now.  We have our National Day of Prayer.  We have our unwavering support of Israel.  We have our real news stories that always align perfectly with what we think we know and believe to be true.

But at what cost, my Friends?  I’m not saying that any of those things in and of themselves are bad, but I am asking, what did it cost us?  With all of that, do we also have more converts to our Christian Faith?  Do we have more people who don’t know Christ as their Savior, asking us how to know this God we serve?  Because while we posted that meme with the derogatory message against the “Libtards,” “Snowflakes,” and “Idiots” on our Facebook wall, we followed it right up with that inspirational message about the goodness of God’s grace and forgiveness.  Surely that counts for something.  Surely that “Libtard” who doesn’t know Christ, knows me by my love for others NOW.

We have become so fearful that our supposedly Christian ideals will be trampled on by those who do not know Christ, that upholding those ideals has become more important to us than even Christ himself.  We have forgotten to look to Jesus as our example of how Christ-followers should respond to a world lost in sin. We have forgotten, as Christ shows us through His own life, that it is entirely possible to uphold Truth, refuse to compromise our beliefs, and still love those who do not yet know that Truth.

Instead, like the disciple, we have responded to the lost who threaten Christ and His teachings, with violence, whether physically or verbally. And while we’re busy thrashing about our swords with little thought to our words or actions, Jesus is pleading, “No more of this!”  While we’re busy looking for that next best meme to attack our “enemies,” Jesus is still trying to work on patching up the bloody mess we’ve left behind in our last self-righteous rant against those who don’t yet know Him.

Let us be reminded that God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts.  And while Jesus was blameless and more pure than any of us before or after Him, He never once fought or slandered those who persecuted Him, falsely accused Him, beat Him, or crucified Him.  In fact, some of His very last words that day were, “Father, forgive them.”

But before any of this, after His miracle of feeding the 5,000, people recognized Jesus as the One who had been prophesied about and they, not understanding from an eternal perspective, wanted to make Him king on earth.  And what was Jesus’ response to this?

 “Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.”  (John 6:15)

Perhaps, then, in trying to force a Christian kingdom on this earth,whatever the cost, we not only further isolate the lost, but we also isolate ourselves from the very One we say we are defending, leaving us with a shiny earthly kingdom that has absolutely no eternal value and consists of only those who look just like us, think just like us, and vote just like us.

Heavenly Father,

Forgive me when I lose my temper.  Forgive me when I get in the way of Your Kingdom and Your ways.  Forgive me when, rather than lead others to You, I become a stumbling block in their path to You.  I pray that You would help me trade my earthly perspective for an eternal one.  I pray that You would lead me and guide me in standing firm in what Your Word says is true, while also loving others as You have commanded me to do.  Help me find the balance of a resolute Faith, unwilling to compromise Truth, with the tempering of Your unconditional love for all mankind.  And when I am tempted to yield my sword of self-righteousness against those who oppose You, help me instead, respond as Jesus would. 

Prayer

7 Things Our Kids Will Never, Ever Learn How to Do

7 Things Our Kids Will Never, Ever Learn How to Do from https://genevalopez2012.wordpress.com

Listen, Guys.  I’m usually that annoyingly optimistic, always-sees-the-glass-half-full kind of gal.  But even I have my limits and today, I’m here to deliver some pretty tough news: There are a few things that our kids are just never going to learn how to do.  Now, I can’t provide you with tons of documented research on this, but I can speak from my own experiences as a mom, the experiences of my friends, and my own observations in the Wal-Mart checkout lines and that’s basically the same thing, right?

I’m currently Mom of a 6-year old boy, a 2-year old girl, and as of sometime around the beginning of January, they tell me I’m going to also be the mom of a newborn boy.  So, sure, my kids are far from grown, but even still, I’m already convinced that the following information is factual and cannot be refuted.  As much as I want them to learn how to do these things, or in some cases, NOT to do these things, I’m convinced it’s just never going to happen.  I’ve accepted it and I’m here to make sure I crush your hopes and dreams, too. I mean, (cough, cough) I’m here to share my wisdom with the world.

When I had my first kiddo, I had absolutely no idea what the heck I was doing, so I often turned to experts in the field and saturated my mind with all the information I could find about how to be good at this Momma thing.  And you know, a lot of it worked pretty well. Our pediatrician even congratulated me at my son’s 1-month wellness visit on “keeping my child alive.”  True story!

But I don’t care how much information I’ve read, how many experts I’ve listened to, or what research I’ve found, nothing has worked to help my children learn how to do these 7 things.  I’ve gently reprimanded, begged, tried a reward-system, shamelessly bribed, and even had my 6-year old memorize Philipians 4:13 so we could repeat it together when feeling frustrated.  (Yelling through gritted teeth, “I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH” should still totally be effective, right?? Asking for a friend).

So without further ado, let’s just rip that band-aid off and get to it.

7 Things Our Kids Will Never, Ever Learn How to Do:

7 Things Our Kids Will Never, Ever Learn How to Do from https://genevalopez2012.wordpress.com

1. Find their shoes.

They can find a pimple on your face in 2.5 seconds that you worked for over 30 minutes to cover with layers of concealer and foundation, but they’ll never be able to find their shoes when it’s time to leave the house.

2. Drink the water (or not).  

It takes all day and multiple threats to your own sanity to get them to finish the 1 glass of fresh water you fixed for them this morning, but only 5 seconds for them to gulp mouthfuls of the bath water their disgusting, germ-covered, crusty rear-ends have been soaking in the last 15 minutes.  Gotta be building that immune system, though, right? Right?

3. Not to leave their winter coat at school.

They can remember every word, chord, and irritating special effect to every single one of the most annoying kids’ songs in the world, but they can’t remember to not leave their new winter coat on the school playground, the gym, or the school bus.  Every. Single. Year.

4. Pee in the toilet.

They can’t figure out how to consistently pee in the big, round, open toilet bowl and not on the seat, wall, floor, or their new underwear.  However, do not be dismayed.  Their ability to hit a target is in-tact and functioning because you better believe that when they’re sick, they’re always going to hit the bulls-eye and puke all over you.

5. Not to eat their boogers.

They scream, gag, and wail “BECAUSE IT’S GREEN!!” when you ask them to eat a piece of broccoli, but you can’t get them to stop chomping on their own boogers in the back seat while you’re driving down the interstate.

6. Sleep in.

You have to drag them out of bed at 9 a.m., yell until you’re blue in the face, and pray for repentance on your way to church every Sunday morning, but they’re whispering “Mommy, I’m hungry” over and over again with their putrid morning breath 2 inches from your face at 6:30 a.m. every Saturday.

7.  Just sleep in general.  

They’ll fall asleep in their car seat with their head bent at strangle angles, or in their plate of rice at dinner time, or on the front row of a rock concert.  They’ll fall asleep anywhere, anytime, but put them in that $200 crib you bought them, with the $500 mattress “guaranteed to have your toddler sleeping soundly all night,” with the down comforter, memory foam pillow, and rainfall white noise machine running, and they’re suddenly 2-year old scholars who want to read every book in their library, play peek-a-boo 8 million times, and see how many times they can get you to sing “You Are My Sunshine.” Oh, and you remember that glass of water you begged them to drink all day? Yeah, our little dictators are finally ready to drink it now.  Every single drop.

*****

So there it is, Friends.  The ugly list of parenting realities.  Take a deep breath and try to relax.  Somewhere out there some other exhausted parent is learning to accept these truths, too.  You are not alone!  We will survive, Friends!  We will!

I think.

7 Things Our Kids Will Never, Ever Learn How to Do from https://genevalopez2012.wordpress.com

3 Reasons I’m Glad We’re Homeschooling Year-Round

Before I started homeschooling, I did A LOT of research on the topic. I learned that there are a ton of ways for people to homeschool their kids, which of course, is one of the beauties of the choice. For those who like to overanalyze everything (something I know everything nothing about 😜), it’s also one of the most overwhelming things about this choice.

One of the areas I researched was all about scheduling. I read about families following their local public schools’ calendar, families homeschooling 4-days a week versus 5, families homeschooling on the weekends, families doing their work in the mornings, others doing their work in the afternoons, etc, etc. I finally realized that I needed to make a decision about our family’s schedule.

I finally bit the bullet, and decided we were going to test out a modified, year-long school schedule. When you first hear “year-long school,” you might cringe at the thought; I know I did! But when I learned more about it, it sounded like a great idea that I wanted to try out.

It’s important to know your state’s homeschooling laws/regulations on all of this, so always check that out first before working out your schedule.

After I did this, I came up with a schedule that had us starting mid-July. We are averaging 6-weeks on, 1-week off, but of course there are exceptions to that. For example, there’s a time when we’ll only be doing school for about 2 weeks before we’ll be off again for an extended break around Christmas. There’s another time when we’ll actually school for 7 weeks straight instead of 6, but overall the 6:1 ratio is what we’ll be doing. Then, we’re scheduled to end our school year in mid-May, when we’ll probably take off for somewhere between 4-6 weeks before we’ll hit the books again.

I understand that this kind of schedule isn’t for everyone, but for us in this season of our lives, so far, we are loving it. Here’s a few reasons why:

1. Recoup and Recharge!

We have only had one of our 1-week breaks so far, but we will have our next one next week. I was a bit hesitant to try this kind of schedule at first, but once that first 1-week break came up, all my doubts on the issue disappeared! We’ve had some struggles with homeschool, but overall, I’d say we’ve adjusted really well. But even still, these 1-week breaks have been heaven-sent. It gives both my son and me a break that we really benefit from. I know some families who average 4-weeks on, 1-week off and still others, who do 8-weeks on, 1-week off. Do what works for you, but for us, 6-weeks on seems to be the right balance, not too much and not too little.

2. Evaluate and Plan.

We mostly rely on a curriculum that beautifully maps out our school schedule each day. However, I have needed to make changes to that schedule at times to fit our needs, whether that meant skipping something altogether, slowing down, speeding up, or adding activities to expand our lessons. Also, I am not using any specific curriculum to teach Science or Spanish, therefore planning for those subjects is completely up to me.

I know some amazing homeschool gurus who plan out their entire school year before they start their year, but I am not that good, and as much as I’d like to say that I will get there one day, I know myself and I know that’s never going to happen. Ha! But that is another reason why our 6:1 schedule is working so well for us.

During our last break, I dedicated some time to plan our schedule for the next 6 weeks. I evaluated our last 6 weeks, looked at what had been working or not working, and made adjustments. I looked through our packaged curriculum’s schedule for the next 6 weeks, which made me feel very well prepared. Then I took that info and mapped out field trips for our next few weeks and any extra projects I wanted to do.

I think it’s awesome that some people can sit down and tentatively plan their whole year, but the thought of doing that completely overwhelms me. Planning 6 weeks at a time is just right for me.

3. Extra flexibility.

The past 2 weeks, my kiddos have been dealing with colds that have kept them (and me) up all hours of the night. Because of this, there have been a couple of days where we didn’t school. Because of our 6:1 schedule, those days will be easily made up. We can make up a day or two during this scheduled break if we want, or during a future break if that works better. It makes it so easy and definitely takes the stress out of trying to figure out how to make up missed time when unexpected issues arise.


I know this type of schedule might not be everyone’s cup of tea or work for all families, but for us, this has definitely been a decision I’m happy we made. It might not go this way every school year for us, but right now it definitely works best. What are your thoughts? Do you homeschool year-round or are you thinking about it? I’d love to hear what’s working for you!

Memorizing Scripture Isn’t a Priority in Our Homeschool

I know. You’re probably thinking, “What is this heathen rambling on about now? Memorizing Scripture isn’t important to her!?”

Hear me out.

Memorizing Scripture is, in fact, very important to me. And we know that the Bible talks to us over and over again about the importance of knowing God’s Word. It’s our Sword, afterall, so yeah, pretty important.

So, yes, we do assign Scripture verses for our son to memorize every week. I’m even having him memorize them in English and Spanish. And while we want him to work hard to learn them, it’s not what’s most important to us.

The other night when my son was saying his prayers before bed, he asked God to help him not worry so much about things, like being afraid of the dark and other things. And as he prayed for this, he said, “Help me turn my cares over to You like that verse tells me to.”

We had been working on memorizing 1 Peter 5:7: “Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares for you.” He had learned the verse in English fairly quick, but we were spending quite a bit of time trying to memorize it in Spanish.

When it is taking more time than I had planned for him to learn the memory verse, it can get frustrating for me, I admit. But when I heard my son’s prayer that night, it was a great reminder of what’s most important.

I realized that my son might not be able to quote the verse just right yet, but he had accomplished something more important: He had captured its meaning and how to apply it to his 7-year old life.

Every time we embark on learning a new verse, we discuss it. We talk about what it means, not just what it says. We ask questions and we really familiarize ourselves with each verse. We could have the talent of memorizing 100 Scriptures this school year, but what good is that if we don’t have any understanding of any of it?

And isn’t this concept one of the EXACT reasons so many of us choose to homeschool anyway? We often choose homeschool over “normal” school because we don’t want our kids to just memorize enough to pass a standardized test and then forget everything after the test. We want them to be able to study something in depth, to really learn the ins-and-outs. So why abandon that desire when studying Scripture? Isn’t that even more important in this area?

I don’t want my son to be memorizing Scripture just to check something off our list. What I’m tryingt to lead him to is a deeper relationship with Christ. I don’t want to teach him to just go through the motions. I want to help cultivate an environment for my son that fosters connection with God. I want him to learn who God is. And one of the best ways we’re going to have any hope of accomplishing this is to study His Word. To dwell on it and soak in it and learn it well. To inscribe it on the walls of our hearts.

It’s easy to get distracted by the quantity at the sacrifice of the quality, but this was a great reminder to dig into these verses this year and stay as long as needed.

If that means he only accomplishes memorizing 1 verse a month, I don’t care. Because at the end of it all, I don’t want my son to just be able to carry his Sword. I want him to be able to use it and use it well.

A Homeschool Adventure at UNC Charlotte Botanical Gardens

I am not looking forward to shorter days or Flu season, but I am definitely ready for some cooler temps.

Today, our little corner of the world had an Autumn teaser with blue skies and highs around 76, a welcome reprieve from high 80s and 90-degree weather. When I saw the forecast for this the other day, I knew I wanted us to spend as much time outside as we could today.

As some of you know, we’re using Sonlight for the majority of our curriculum this year, but I also came across the Exploring Nature with Children curriculum recently. It is SUPER inexpensive and I love the ideas it gives.

Since it’s only our 1st year homeschooling, I didn’t want to throw any more on our plate right now, but I have been VERY loosely following it at times. The great thing about it is that it is built to be re-usable year-after-year with the same student, so you can definitely get your money’s worth.

Mainly this year, though, the curriculum has really inspired me to get not just my kiddos, but MYSELF, too, outdoors more. I’m not one of these “all technology is evil” kind of gals and while I do set time limits for my kids, I don’t put really strict time limits on the amount of TV or games my kids can play every day.

I’m also not someone who is super outdoorsy. There’s a homeschool nature group I’m a part of online, for example, and some of the members will post pics of spiders or snakes they’ve come across, praising their beauty and design. Meanwhile I’m over here thinking God there’s a computer screen between me and those creatures. 😉

But even still, I want to get outside more with my kids and to inspire my kids to enjoy being outside among the beauty of God’s creation. So, I’m really trying to get us out on a nature adventure at least once a week when the weather isn’t overbearing. The past couple of weeks that hasn’t really worked for us because of the heat, but with Fall right around the corner, I’m hoping we can make this much more of a reality.

So after wrapping up some of our book work this morning, we packed lunches for the 40-minute car ride to UNC Charlotte Botanical Gardens and headed out for our nature adventure of the week.


A few tips. First, wear tennis shoes. I really wasn’t quite sure what to expect and I wore sandals. I was fine, but tennis shoes would have been much better. There are some areas that were pretty steep to climb and I had to take it really slow while wearing my 8-month old and holding my 2.5-year old’s hand.

Second, the Gardens’ website gives great directions about parking, but just to reiterate, once you get to the campus, find Lot 16A. It is right beside the greenhouse and it has about 5 spaces designated specifically for the Gardens’ guests. Parking there is free, you just have to sign in at the greenhouse and provide your tag number. Thankfully, we were able to snag a spot in one of these spaces, but check out their website for other parking options if these spots aren’t available.

Lastly, I couldn’t really find any good info on stroller accessibility, but I planned to wear my baby in my Ergo carrier. I would definitely suggest you do the same if you venture here with an infant. You might be able to use a stroller in the gardens, but it wouldn’t be fun. It is mostly unpaved, there are a lot of tree roots to walk over, and there are some super narrow paths. I didn’t see anything indicating strollers were prohibited, but it sure wouldn’t be easy.


We started our adventure in the greenhouses, after a potty break of course. 😜 Here you can find all kinds of different flowers and plants. Our favorite area was the Rainforest section, but honestly, it was all fun. Some of the plants did look like they could use some love, but overall, we really enjoyed it.

Unfortunately, I forgot to charge my phone last night and it died before we even made it out of the greenhouses, so I didn’t even get one picture of the actual Gardens area! I was so bummed, because there was so much to capture. Next time, I guess.

The Gardens are separated into two different areas and divided by a gravel walkway. Our favorite Garden was the Susie Harwood Garden where we found a pond with rock seating and a small man-made water feature, a gazebo, and a neat stone archway. The Van Langdiham Glen was lovely, too, though, and should definitely not be missed. I found it to be exceptionally peaceful as we walked in the shade of some magnificent trees.

All of the hike was doable for both my 7-year old and my 2.5-year old. My 8-month old started getting very sleepy and a bit fussy about half-way into the hike, but thankfully I was able to calm him down by letting him play with fallen leaves, a rock, a small stick, and a pinecone at various times througout the hike. He was using his pacifier, so I didn’t have to worry about him sticking any of those things in his mouth. Ha! Eventually, he fell asleep on me while we finished up our walk.

Exploring the Botanical Gardens could have easily been made into a whole unit study. Obviously we covered science, but we also used map skills as my son utilized a free map of the area and navigated us down the paths. Pop a squat at one of the many seating areas, and art could have also easily been incorporated by sketching a garden scene, for example. Geography was another subject to check off the list, as we learned about where different plants we saw in both the greenhouses and gardens, grew. We could have also very easily created a Language Arts lesson for the trip, such as writing a paragraph to describe the adventure. And goodness knows we got in some P.E.-some of those hills were steep!

I’d encourage anyone nearby or in the area, to take a trip to the UNC Charlotte Botanical Gardens, but it’s definitely a great trip for homeschooling families. Did I mention that it’s free?? They do encourage donations, but you can’t beat that price for a wonderful field trip. And tonight when my son said his prayers, he said, “God, thank you for the gardens we went to today. Your creation sure is beautiful.” That right there is priceless to me and I hope we can continue to inspire that kind of appreciation this year.

Rolling with Resistance in Homeschool

In counseling, there’s a technique called “Roll with Resistance.” The technique acknowledges that change is hard and often met with some resistance from Clients. In fact, some days, the Client might not even believe they need to change anything!

If I go in there and try to force them to change, chances are, I’m not gonna have great success. Heck, I might even see an increase in the behavior we’re trying to address in the first place if I tried to tackle it that way!

In rolling with resistance, it’s a bit like a dance and I’m not always the one leading, not exactly, anyways. With this technique, when appropriate, I let the Client lead a bit and I come alongside to “dance” with them. I’m not here to get into all the details of that, but the beauty of this technique is that it often leads to the Client being willing to at least consider that something needs to change. And that is the first step to any kind of lasting change.

Well, who knew such a technique would come in handy in homeschool, too! This week I needed to review adjectives and similies with my son. Writing has not been his favorite subject this year and I’ve been trying to find ways to make it more interesting for him. I’m not looking for him to LOVE it, but I also don’t want him to dread doing it every day.

When trying to review these subjects one day this week, my son wanted to show me a new LEGO creation he had just constructed. Adjectives and similies was the last thing on his mind.

It would have been easy to tell him to put the LEGOs away, sit down, and pay attention. And maybe that’s what you would have done because that’s your parenting or teaching style. If it is and it’s working for you then have at it! I am not here to tell you that you’re doing anything wrong with that and honestly, my philosophy on judging other parents’ parenting is simple: As long as their children are not being abused or neglected, it’s not my business unless they ask me to be involved.

But that method doesn’t have the kind of results I’m looking for in our house. Now I’m not one of these completely “free spirits” who lets my children do whatever they want, so don’t get it confused. There are plenty of rules and expectations here and discipline when those rules are not followed.

But I’m also an advocate of working smarter, not harder and this scenario seemed like a good chance to roll with some resistance.

So instead of making my 7-year old review this stuff the way I had planned it out in my mind, I followed his lead a bit. He is obsessed with LEGOs these days and he could talk to you for hours about that and Star Wars.

So I looked at his new creation that he was proudly displaying and said, “That’s pretty awesome! I like how you did that. What’s some adjectives you could use to describe that thing?”

He spouted off adjective after beautiful adjective describing the size, color, and texture of his LEGO. And then I asked him to describe it to me with similies and I was so impressed with what he came up with.

It’s a simple concept, honestly; using your kids’ interests to teach. Truthfully, it’s probably nothing new to most of you! But my experience was a good reminder for me of how beautifully this works.

I still taught what I needed to teach and we covered everything I needed him to learn, but it was much more interesting to my son when we talked about what he wanted to talk about. And because he found the object of our discussion to be interesting, he was engaged in the learning and obtained what I needed him to understand about “boring” stuff like adjectives and similies. 😉

I’m really trying to incorporate this strategy as much as possible in our class. In our case that has looked like many different things, from a subtraction baseball game between LEGO figures (inspired by this game) to a 6-sentence writing assignment about Darth Vader and Yoda. It’s working wonderfully and this week was our best homeschool week so far, largely, I think, because I’m trying to follow this method as much as possible.

We’re heading off on vacation next week and won’t be doing much school, but I’d love to hear from you guys about how you incorporate your children’s interests into your school days. What has worked for you?

3 Reasons Homeschool Rocked This Week

One of the great things about homeschooling is having the freedom to make your own schedule. You don’t have to start when public schools do, but you can if you want. You can take breaks that work for you and your family and you can change it when needed. I love this about homeschool.

I decided that we were going to try more of a year-round schooling approach for our first year of homeschool. We started on July 15th, so we just finished up our 5th week of school. We have one more week of school to accomplish and then we’ll be enjoying our first break of the year! Our family will also be taking a vacation during this break and I am so excited.

We had a really great week of school this week, but even so, I am ready for a whole week of no school. 🙂

So what made this week such a success? A few things.


1. Group field trip.

At the advice of veteran homeschoolers, I joined our local homeschool association for the school year. Yes, there’s a small registration fee involved and if you continue to participate in the group after your first year, you’ll be required to volunteer some time with the group, but all of this is worth it.

Thankfully, it looks like our local group is fairly active and this week, we joined the elementary group for an end-of-summer bash at a local pool! The weather was great for swimming and I was really happy with the amount of people who showed up. I hope we continue to see such good attendance.

Not only did my son get to play with other kids his age, he was excited that everyone there homeschooled, too. He loved it. We definitely plan to join in on more events like this throughout the year.

2. Games, please.

I am really happy with most of our curriculum choices this year, but math and language arts are still “iffy.” The main issue we’ve had with the math curriculum so far is the repetition.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I see great value in repetition when learning new things, but this curriculum feels like too much repetition. Even I get bored with it, so imagine what it’s like for a 7-year old boy!

So this week, I hit Pinterest for some inspiration and I found great ideas that inspired me to create my own Bingo game. It wasn’t time consuming and was super easy to execute. I don’t currently have a home printer, though that’s something I plan to invest in soon, so I just quickly hand-drew a few Bingo cards and shred some paper to use as cover-ups. In the future I’ll make some pretty printed cards, but this worked just as well, but it’s certainly not fancy. Ha!

We made up a game using a few dice and practiced addition and subtraction. My son also got some good practice in being a good sport, since I kicked his booty 3 times in the game! Haha!

Our math for the day was great practice but it was also great fun. My son said it was the best math day, ever. I am definitely going to be incorporating more games in our weeks and not just in math.

3. Another field trip. Sort of.

I’ve mentioned before that we are using Sonlight curriculum this year. One of the things they do is give us a prayer focus each week. This week we were encouraged to pray for Buddhists.

I love how we have the freedom to really dive into topics in homeschool. We’re not restricted by a rigid schedule most days and we can go as deep as we want! Like, we studied a map to locate some of the countries where Buddhism is prominent, we Googled pictures of Buddhist monks, and we had a great discussion on how we can’t work out our own salvation because all of us need Jesus.

But even better, one day we were feeling a bit cooped up in the house and decided we could use a drive. I had an idea. So we loaded into the car and made a pit stop for a few slushies. While enjoying our drinks, we drove just a little ways to park across the street from a small Buddhist temple nearby. Yes, even our tiny piece of the South has one. We discussed the architecture, the statues outside, and so much more.

It wasn’t a long field trip and we didn’t even get out of the car, but it led to some fantastic discussions with my son and it was a perfect example of a great perk of homeschooling.

We didn’t need a permission slip and we didn’t even have to schedule it, we just went! And best of all (according to my kids, anyways), they didn’t even have to wear shoes. They tried to go sans pants, too, but I drew the line there, my Friends. Even homeschool needs a few rules. 🙂

Until next week, Friends.

Another Week of Homeschool: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

4 weeks! We’ve homeschooled 4 weeks already! And we’ve survived!! 🙂

This week, like all weeks, had its ups and downs. Let’s start with the not so great moments.

Hard Moment #1: Nostalgia.

The local public schools started back this week and my son had a moment of missing “the old life.” Ha! He talked about missing his friends and his old school, all completely understandable, even for a kid who was excited to leave public school. We had a good heart-to-heart, committed to hanging in there for this school year, and agreed to re-evaluate at the end of the year.

Our local county homeschool association is getting back in gear this month, and I really think that getting out and doing stuff with other homeschool kids is going to make a huge difference. We’re going on our first field trip with the group next week!

Hard Moment #2: Remembering to be flexible.

Remember when I talked about the importance of being flexible? You can read about that here Well, this week I’ve had to remind myself of my own advice.

We are using Sonlight for the majority of our curriculum this year and I LOVE it. I need to do a whole post on that topic alone, but we’ll save that for another day. One of the great things about Sonlight is they provide you with an Instructor’s Guide to show you what to cover every day. But even Sonlight stresses that the Instructor’s Guide should be used as just that: a guide. It shouldn’t have the final say; I should.

This week I have really tried to embrace that. I was noticing that Luke seemed to be feeling a bit overwhelmed with certain things. Part of my challenge has been to figure out what’s going on when he’s strugglinh. Is it that he’s feeling overwhelmed because it’s truly too much work, or is he not understanding it, OR is it actually a healthy amount of work and he’s just wanting to be lazy? Ha! My answers to those questions this week have been, “Yes.”

There were times when I had to have a come to Jesus meeting with him because he wasn’t putting forth effort, times when I skipped certain assignments or tweeked assignments because I felt it was too much busy work, and still other times when the Instructor’s Guide was ready to move on to another topic, but Luke needed a little extra practice.

Once again, that’s one of the best things about homeschool: Being able to really tailor your child’s education to fit their needs!

But despite the hard times, we also had some really great moments! We continued our study on sharks this week and thanks to Pinterest, I was able to combine two ideas into one.

Luke really enjoys when we do art-type things, even though my artistic abilities are practically non-existent. But I realize it’s really important, I think, for me to try and incorporate art things into our week each week.

This week we made sharks out of toilet paper rolls. Thank you, wifemomgeek.com for the cute idea! Luke really wanted to make a hammerhead shark so I left him in charge of that and honestly didn’t have high expectations for his idea to work (I know, I know!l, but boy did he prove me wrong! I was so impressed with what he came up with! We even let Eliana, Luke’s 2-year old sister, join in on the fun. She was perfectly content just painting with us.

Once our sharks were done, we used this neat idea from Kid Minds and did a science experiment to learn about why sharks don’t sink in the ocean. Luke had the best time with this and best of all, he learned while having fun. Always a win in my book!

And speaking of books, we finished up our first read-a-loud book this week. Sonlight is a literature-based curriculum, which means there’s a lot of reading, which we love.

The read-a-loud we’ve been reading this past month has been Charlotte’s Web. I decided that I would like to attempt to celebrate every time we finish a read-a-loud. This time we commemorated the accomplishment with “spider” burgers and Wilbur “pigs” playing in the “mud.”

Even though my spider burgers could probably earn a gold medal in a Pinterest fails competition, the kids loved it, and really, that’s all that I was shooting for. 🙂

Finding Beauty in the Frustrations of Homeschool

Third week in and it finally happened. Actually, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. “What?” you ask.

Total homeschool frustration.

It took me by surprise, honestly, because the day started so well. Rather than start our homeschool day right away that morning, I started after lunch. The kids were getting along really well and playing legos together that morning, so I decided to let them play because moments like these can be few and far between sometimes, especially when there’s a 4.5 year age gap between the two. Plus, I had been wanting to play around with our schedule to see how that affected my son’s learning or if morning is the optimal time of day for him.

The kids played, I got some much-needed cleaning done, we ate lunch, and then we started school. That went really well, too, at first. We did our devotional and talked about our prayer focus for the week and my son asked such great questions. So great, in fact, that we spent an extra 20 minutes diving deeper into the topic at hand; a homeschool perk I’ve been looking forward to! It was great! “This is wonderful!” I thought.

And then the day went south.

My son had requested that we conquer math next, so we got to it. Up until this point, all the math we’ve done so far has been much of a review for my son. It’s actually something that was starting to concern me because he was getting bored covering material he already knew. “Maybe I should have gone with a different curriculum!” I worried.

But this day we finally started on a topic that my kiddo wasn’t familiar with. But while I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized this, my son had quite the opposite reaction. He became frustrated, not because he didn’t understand the material, but because he didn’t know how to do it yet! And when he had to do the handful of practice problems to solidify this new knowledge, he had to actually put forth some effort. And he didn’t like that. It was like pulling teeth for a while to get him to get it done. He cried. I nearly cried. And we both needed a break.

So, we took a drive. And on that drive we talked it out. Eventually I gained a better understanding of the issue. My son said, “I just want to be smart.” In his 7-year old brain, his idea of “smart” was that he should be able to look at something he’s never seen or done before and be able to solve it or complete it without being taught. We had a thorough discussion on how distorted that understanding of “smart” is and talked about teaching and learning. And after we both cooled off, we came back home and got back to work.

The homeschool day ended much later than usual and much later than I prefer, but we got through it. And while it was a really frustrating day, even the frustration held homeschool beauty, if you will. When we needed a breather, we were able to take it. Even better, we weren’t confined to take that breather within our four walls. Not only that, we had the chance to hash it out and talk about the problem for as long as we needed. We weren’t restricted by time or the needs of other students. It was annoying and I hope to have much more positive moments than frustrating moments, but it’s great to be able to work it out in such a way.


In other news, we had some fun this week, too. While I’m using official curriculum for most of our schooling, I’m doing my own thing for science this year. Mostly, I’m following my son’s interest in this subject. Currently, he’s wanted to study the ocean and the many animals that live there. And what better week to study sharks than during Discovery Channel’s “Shark Week!” We’ve watched some kid-friendly clips from there, but we also made shark cupcakes, because in this house, we’ll use anything as an excuse to make cupcakes!

I found the shark figures on clearance at Hobby Lobby the other week for about $2.50 so I snatched them up. Conveniently, the names of each kind of shark were listed on the bottom of each figure, so I made a rule for our cupcake feast: When we got a cupcake, we had to look up facts about the shark on that specific cupcake. My son loved it and I was happy because I got to eat cupcakes we had fun learning.

And so, as the old saying goes, “You win some, you lose some.” This week, we definitely experienced both, but shark cupcakes redeems any bad day. 🙂

Until next week, Friends!