In counseling, there’s a technique called “Roll with Resistance.” The technique acknowledges that change is hard and often met with some resistance from Clients. In fact, some days, the Client might not even believe they need to change anything!
If I go in there and try to force them to change, chances are, I’m not gonna have great success. Heck, I might even see an increase in the behavior we’re trying to address in the first place if I tried to tackle it that way!
In rolling with resistance, it’s a bit like a dance and I’m not always the one leading, not exactly, anyways. With this technique, when appropriate, I let the Client lead a bit and I come alongside to “dance” with them. I’m not here to get into all the details of that, but the beauty of this technique is that it often leads to the Client being willing to at least consider that something needs to change. And that is the first step to any kind of lasting change.
Well, who knew such a technique would come in handy in homeschool, too! This week I needed to review adjectives and similies with my son. Writing has not been his favorite subject this year and I’ve been trying to find ways to make it more interesting for him. I’m not looking for him to LOVE it, but I also don’t want him to dread doing it every day.
When trying to review these subjects one day this week, my son wanted to show me a new LEGO creation he had just constructed. Adjectives and similies was the last thing on his mind.
It would have been easy to tell him to put the LEGOs away, sit down, and pay attention. And maybe that’s what you would have done because that’s your parenting or teaching style. If it is and it’s working for you then have at it! I am not here to tell you that you’re doing anything wrong with that and honestly, my philosophy on judging other parents’ parenting is simple: As long as their children are not being abused or neglected, it’s not my business unless they ask me to be involved.
But that method doesn’t have the kind of results I’m looking for in our house. Now I’m not one of these completely “free spirits” who lets my children do whatever they want, so don’t get it confused. There are plenty of rules and expectations here and discipline when those rules are not followed.
But I’m also an advocate of working smarter, not harder and this scenario seemed like a good chance to roll with some resistance.
So instead of making my 7-year old review this stuff the way I had planned it out in my mind, I followed his lead a bit. He is obsessed with LEGOs these days and he could talk to you for hours about that and Star Wars.
So I looked at his new creation that he was proudly displaying and said, “That’s pretty awesome! I like how you did that. What’s some adjectives you could use to describe that thing?”
He spouted off adjective after beautiful adjective describing the size, color, and texture of his LEGO. And then I asked him to describe it to me with similies and I was so impressed with what he came up with.
It’s a simple concept, honestly; using your kids’ interests to teach. Truthfully, it’s probably nothing new to most of you! But my experience was a good reminder for me of how beautifully this works.
I still taught what I needed to teach and we covered everything I needed him to learn, but it was much more interesting to my son when we talked about what he wanted to talk about. And because he found the object of our discussion to be interesting, he was engaged in the learning and obtained what I needed him to understand about “boring” stuff like adjectives and similies. 😉
I’m really trying to incorporate this strategy as much as possible in our class. In our case that has looked like many different things, from a subtraction baseball game between LEGO figures (inspired by this game) to a 6-sentence writing assignment about Darth Vader and Yoda. It’s working wonderfully and this week was our best homeschool week so far, largely, I think, because I’m trying to follow this method as much as possible.
We’re heading off on vacation next week and won’t be doing much school, but I’d love to hear from you guys about how you incorporate your children’s interests into your school days. What has worked for you?